Category Archives: 1. Art

CMC Gig Post Mortem

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942856_10200302855227439_1732236576_nI dedicated this set to Joe Thomas.

Well, last time I had a gig here in Gainesville I wrote a post mortem, and it was rather negative. That time it was a solo gig, this time I shared the evening with Kathleen Taylor (lovely, sweet, nimble-fingered and generous) and Cracker the Box (intense, groovy, bluesy, first-rate and dark), but I will let them assess their own performances. As for mine, well, I am still struggling with my voice… I don’t yet seem to have found it. Due to a number of–uhm…er…uh… changes–my voice has become a source of major complication and profound insecurity.

But, apart from that, it may have, surprisingly, been the most at ease and competent I have ever felt on stage anywhere at any time. Why? I don’t know. The crowd was surprisingly large and the room pleasantly packed. The other acts were known in town and beloved, my soundcheck was a nightmare of insecurities and sad shrill mumblings… but somehow, by Saraswati’s grace, once I sat down and looked out at everyone, I just felt “ON.” I decided on-the-spot to forget about my insecurities about my voice and just give ‘em the best I was able to do at the time, and to lean into THAT; lean into all I had. I decided not to question myself or freak out, just to freaking sing! So sing I did.

And far more amazing, something else happened that was quite a shock, all the little bluesy bass notes I popped with my thumb, all the little variations and riffs were there, RIGHT THERE where I needed them to be. I had NO fumbling or loss of dexterity. Dear God, for the first time ever on stage… my fingers actually worked. For me the highlights of the evening were the electric numbers: McCartney’s “Letting Go,” and my original “Chokin’ ’99.” I felt good, felt on, felt as though people were in for a surprise as I was the unknown, the opening act, “she who had to prover herself.” As for the audience, they were very responsive, attentive, and appreciative… very appreciative.

And apart from half a can of PBR I was sober.

It was a good night.

Gig Tonight

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Well, it’s here, gig night. I used to get so nervous on stage that I could hardly function at all, so I drank whiskey. But then again I drank whiskey in my coffee in the morning before going in to teach, drank whiskey when I practiced, and carried some around in a flask just in case I needed more. It worked, it helped, took the edge off enough that I could play. All that drinking and stagefright eventually forced me to stop performing at all.

Nowadays I don’t drink like that. And I don’t really feel as nervous, I get nervous, a little sloppy, but I still play better in public than I used to. And nowadays I have Saraswati to guide me, and I realize, thanks to my spiritual life, that being an artist, musician and teacher is my duty (in the largest sense) and so being nervous and failing to do my duty is something of a sin.

So, here it is, gig night, and I am ready to do my duty.

SAW Year One Lives On!

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It was amazing. The year is over but we ALL (all the students and Tom and I) got together tonight at Satchel’s Pizza to celebrate Adrian’s comic that he did for Satchel (and he actually made money!) then went back to SAW to watch a Spike Jones documentary. God was it a lovely evening. I think the warmth is so evident in this photo. Too bad you couldn’t see Sally or Anna (my two favorites, I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but their work stands head and shoulders above the rest-wink-). And to top it off, the photo doesn’t make me want to cry, I actually think I look rather pretty. And to the barefoot fans who read in, of course I was barefoot!Barefoot Justine Mara Andersen and students from SAW enjoying Satchel's Pizza

SAWtificates & Graduation Party

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What to say? Other than life is grand and I now know what it feels like to finally have everything you ever wanted, I haven’t much more to say. So, what is it like having everything you always wanted? It’s too foreign an experience to quantify… I feel like at any moment now this will end like a vacation and I’ll have to go “home” to whatever ghetto I belong in. Below you will see a photo of the SAW gang on the back porch of the house I live in: from left to right: Sally, Me (in back), Anna (on ground), co-founder Leela Corman, Adrian, Our fearless leader Tom Hart, and Eric, (student Mike not pictured):
399872_10200920577280937_1520254666_n(By the way, contrary to how this looks, we were all happy, but this picture was taken while we were Skyping with a graduation keynote speaker so the moment was more ceremonial and educational than celebratory.)

Beautiful place, beautiful people. We held our graduation party out here yesterday, and it was lovely and made even more lovely by the fact that it was not an end. I’m here for good, Tom and Leela of course live here, Anna lives here, and now Eric and Sally are here to stay in Gainesville, too. Soon, thanks to SAW, Gainesville will be the city comic book artists from all over will call home, where they will settle down and be happy. I’m proud of my students and have given them endless credit for their growth and dedication, but last night, for the first time, I realized that we teachers had a big hand in that, too. Their growth belongs to all of us, we did this together, and does it ever feel good to be in the business of changing lives. What a day, sun, amazing food, and perhaps the most relaxed and tension-free gathering I’ve ever been to. There was magic at SAW this year, an auspicious gathering of talents and warm-heartedness that rarely comes along. Funny, but usually the day after an event like that I feel drained and sort of saddened that it’s over, but today I’m all smiles and joy. You know something was good when you still feel good the day after the BIG DAY.

Here are a couple other pics from our day, one of Lake Newnan (which is what I’m staring off at in the pic above), and the alligator that lives in our pond.
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Glories from THE Frank Thorne

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Found this on the SAW web-site today regarding my career as an artist and teacher… from the one and only Frank Thorne:

“…don’t know much about “art,’ even though I’ve been drawing and writing for over 60 years. I always held the belief that “art” cannot be taught. But, looking over the SAW website, methinks that yours is the correct approach. Witness Justine, the very embodiment of the artist’s profile. I’ve known her for many years, and have been a fan from the very beginning. She is extremely gifted, and will be on hand to help your students open the doors of perception.

Give her a hug for me.”

F.Thorne

Once again, Frank descends from the heavens (or some other slightly less well-lit and sulfuric place) to heap praise and glories upon little old me! Thank you Frank, and I love you!

Jess Franco, No Apologies!

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I disagree with almost everyone anymore. I don’t want to, I certainly don’t try to, but I do. We already know that I disagree with everyone on Paul McCartney, he is, was, and always will be a genius. But there is one more person, equally significant in my life, that I also disagree with everyone about… Jess Franco, the greatest filmmaker of all time.

And I meant that. Nope, I don’t buy into the common logic that “his films suck… but…” No, not at all. His films don’t suck, in fact, they are, when he was at his best, some of the most visionary, influential, and enthralling films I have ever seen… and I’ve seen a whole lotta films. So, as you can imagine, I was really struck by Jess Franco’s passing, yeah, he was old, led a great life, accomplished a lot, so I wasn’t sad for him so much as glad for him. Jess Franco led an enviable and remarkable life.

It’s all about the courage to follow your obsessions down whatever rabbit hole they lead you into, no matter how deep or dirty. Jess Franco was not merely a dismissable king of sleaze, no he was a highly personal and uncompromising filmmaker who knew damn well what he was doing. He knew he was zooming in tight, knew he was showing scenes out of focus, knew his films didn’t make a lot of sense linearly. They weren’t meant to be linear, they are dreams, nightmares from the id, reincarnations of the spirit of de Sade. I’ve read numerous laughable complaints about his use of the zoom lens on pubic hair (a practice he explained as merely being “honest”), look closer, Jess Franco zoomed in hard on EVERYTHING, faces, eyes, background elements, even the sun. As for the zooms AND the out of focus moments, well, both elements are also a part of his driving theme, fetish, obsession, and that is that he was a voyeur. He meant to shoot through things, to have objects between his lens and the actors, he meant to zoom in, like any fetishist staring hard, real hard. And out of focus, well, that just added to the documentary feel, the “this is actually happening NOW” vibe that his films have. I’ve seen Franco successfully approach certain films in a more conventional way, the things he did were a conscious choice, not faults or lack of skill. And the things he did, the zooms, the focus, the shakiness, were repeated with such sincerity that it is obvious to anyone who understands the creative process that these elements are repeating themes much more than they are mistakes or flaws.

This is a point I failed to make in my first draft of this thing, and it’s a point a friend of mine reminded me of, and that is… that the reasons most people dislike Franco say more about their limitations as film viewers than it does about Franco as a filmmaker. Franco Made Franco films, and in order to watch them you have to meet him half-way. He did not make films according to Hollywood expectations (or even according to Exploitation expectations), he made films in a lawless and highly personalized way. He knew the rules (and frequently proved it in his more approachable and conventional films) but chose to make films in his own way, and quite by design, I assure you. In order to watch a Franco film, you must first empty your cup, otherwise you simply ain’t gonna get it. I’ve watched people respond to Franco films, they’ll giggle, snicker, and quite erroneously feel smarter and more sophisticated than him… but they’re not, they’re instead, simply brainwashed into limitations they may not even know they have. Open up, empty your cup, let go, and let Jess Franco be Jess Franco.

I admire his courage to dismiss any and all socialization, as a man or as an artist. Franco shot what he wanted, and he didn’t give a damn (or “I don’t give a shit” as he would say) if you understood it or not, well, as for me, I get it. I for one, will miss the hell out of Jess Franco.

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Then again, I miss Jean Rollin, I miss the recklessness and carefree attitudes of all the exploitation films. I miss the low budgets, the filmic qualities, the soft focus, the lighting, the eyeliner, the patterns on the clothes, the music, everything that made that stuff what it was.

I remember discovering exploitation films when I was younger. I didn’t know anything about these little gems I was finding at the video store. There was no internet to turn to for research. When I discovered exploitation it was a strange world enshrouded in mystery. Who are these people? What the heck is going on? Hey… haven’t I seen that guy before? And one thing I noticed, saw, recognized and felt was what Jess Franco was doing. At the time I didn’t know who Franco was, but as the years passed, as I researched, learned, and viewed these movies again, and this time as an educated viewer, I realized that the spirit of Jess Franco’s movies had haunted me. It was a lot like when I was young and heard Beatle and solo music everywhere, but knew nothing about it, I simply loved those songs more than the others on the radio. I later began digging into the Beatles and other solo stuff and realized that all the songs I loved most were by them. In essence this was what happened to me with Franco, something about his films stuck with me even though I hadn’t realized it until years later. Essentially, just like with the Beatles and their solo stuff, I was a Jess Franco fanatic before I even knew who he was. There was no bias as a fan, his stuff stuck with me, unnerved, challenged, even excited me, well before I knew his name. THAT, my dear friends, is powerful art.

If you’re not convinced, I don’t care, and honestly, neither did Jess Franco.