Category Archives: 6. Diary

May19

Beatles Anthology Revisited

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Beatles-John-Lennon-Paul-McCartney-George-Harrison-Ringo-Starr-4WARNING: This post will be full of unpopular opinions and observations. I have warned you, so if you read on and disagree, please leave me alone.

Beatles Anthology Revisited (by Justine Mara Andersen)

I’ve been rewatching the Beatles Anthology, and have regrettably come to the same conclusion, though this time with even more conviction. I wasn’t sure I should mention it, not as much as it will open fire on me, but the unpopular conclusion I’ve come to is that Lennon and Harrison can be real buzz-kills at times, and Yoko, well… yeah, I’ll handle that in a moment.

So, here’s the rub. The Anthology is a remarkable document, it’s full of amazing stuff, and biased as I am I am so thankful for McCartney’s sunny disposition and Ringo’s loving and sentimental attitudes. They are much needed to take the edge of Lennon’s bitter axe-grinding (an axe he seems to be grinding endlessly against McCartney’s skull) and Harrison’s dour, frowny, and very (very) unforgiving and grudge-spewing attitude. In fact, every time a Lennon clip comes on I cringe, knowing he will once again be grinding his axe, dismissing McCartney’s every contribution (while being, no surprise here, quite fond of his own contributions). He’s not terribly subtle about it if you’re paying attention. When one pays attention to other subtle moments his negativity seems rather evenly distributed, one example being his smug response to the question of whether or not the Maharishi was “on the level,” in which Lennon mutters some cryptic bitter nonsense… and in the background you can hear McCartney saying brightly, “He was on the level.” Lennon comes across as terribly unhappy, angry, and petty. Frankly, Lennon seems at times to have been wallowing in a mire of anger and bitterness, even his tone of voice is often angry and scolding. Knock McCartney all you want, at least he’s roundly and fairly positive about everyone in the group. He does not dismiss or disrespect anyone’s contribution, at least not in retrospect, though he certainly (and admittedly) kept Harrison down while in the Beatles.

Harrison’s so-called honesty and “humor” starts to come across as self-righteous and rather bitter. In fact, even in vintage clips (especially around 1967) he looks often quite disgusted, bored and scornful. This, of course, contrary to his belief system, flies quite in the face of the generally loving and forgiving philosophy he struggled to live by. Harrison should have had the wisdom to find the joy in what he was doing. After all, it was his duty (in the spiritual sense) to be doing what he was doing… and so far as jobs that get in the way of meditating goes, trust me George, there are a lot worse ways to make a living than being Fab! Additionally, he spoke a lot about forgiveness and love, but seems quite ready to pass judgment on John and Paul. I know now that Harrison is considered quite “cool,” but that’s more of a statement on our times and culture, times and a culture in which bitterness, sarcasm, and anger are seen as positive “real” traits while positivity, hard-work, and kindness are seen as suspect. Shame, ’cause I love Harrison, too, but I was surprised watching it again how many negative things he had to say. Then again, perhaps I myself could learn a lot here considering much of the bitterness and anger I carry in me towards the comics industry. Also, I understand that life in the Beatles no doubt opened a lot of wounds and created a lot of scarring, and though I can understand where Harrison is coming from… it’s still a drag to have to listen to it.
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Let’s talk about Ringo, who quite admirably comes across as the great sage of the group. He’s so even-tempered, sentimental, honest and loving that he comes across as the most well-adjusted, real, and honest of the lot of them. Then there’s Yoko, well as a Lennon fan for years (which I still am, though with far less doe-eyed innocence) I tried to pretend I got it and liked her… but DEAR GOD I just want to slap her every time I see her attached to Lennon’s side during Beatles recording sessions. Johnandyoko come across as simply pathetic, even vaguely creepy. And moreso, imagine for one second how Lennon would have reacted had another Beatle brought her in to every session. Seriously, Lennon fans, pause and think about that…

Do you really think Lennon would have understood or tolerated that same behavior from ANYONE else in the group for a split second? Hell no! Simply put, she had NO business being there. Period. The Beatles were the Beatles… THAT IS IT! I can’t imagine being an outsider, girlfriend, or guest at a Beatles session and thinking that it would be in any way appropriate to interject or involve myself. The Beatles did not need ANY help from Yoko-fucking-Ono!

Wow, so I know it’s now open-season on Justine, as one thing I have learned is that Lennon fans can say all the nasty shit they want about McCartney without any recoil, but dare a McCartney fan do the same and they really get their knickers in a twist. But all I am doing is making an observation, and I think if you really pay attention you will see a sadly surprising amount of bile and venom flowing from both Lennon and Harrison as the Anthology plays out.

The real shame is I LOVE Harrison and Lennon, and I even love their solo work… right down to the deep catalog b-sides and lesser known albums. As songwriters and musicians they still stand as 2 of my very favorites (of course Paul and Ringo being 2 of the others) so this is a bummer of a conclusion to come to. And even at that the moments when Harrison is positive are positively heart-warming. And, of course, at his best Lennon may be not only one of the great songwriters, but one of the most brilliant entertainers of all time. His vocal characterizations are almost as brilliant as Mel Blanc’s, and his physical comedy is Pythonesque in its brilliance. Yet I wish to hell they would have left his bile out of the mix when editing this thing. I really do not need to hear Lennon and Harrison dismissing Sgt. Pepper. What a rotten authoritative statement that makes on what was not only a major artistic accomplishment but a profoundly important cultural event… and that’s without relying on hyperbole. Their negativity diminishes something that should not be diminished. Of course, we all know Pepper was basically McCartney’s brainchild, so why wouldn’t they hate it? I hope that had Lennon survived, his take on things might have softened and become warmer. At least Harrison seemed to have mellowed and was, at times, fairly ready to remember things warmly. Of course, all the things I have said here are generalized and highly personal emotional responses, but it’s my blog, I’m allowed to do that… right? And, of course, I also realized as I watched that there was plenty of positivity, warmth, and love coming from Lennon and Harrison as well, I was simply annoyed with the number of negative and angry comments that made their way into the final product, and this is what this blog is about, something that bothered me emotionally after repeated viewings of the Anthology.

So the point here is really not to insult Lennon or Harrison (they were spectacular) but I find their curmudgeonly comments to be a serious buzz-kill. Simply put, they turn what should be one hell of a great trip into a bit of an anticlimactic bummer. When I watch something like the Beatles Anthology I do not watch it to be brought down and experience the long-lasting strife that seemed to be a part of the trip, I watch it ’cause I love the Beatles, I love Sgt. Pepper, and I want to sit and revel in my happy place without Lennon and Harrison shitting in it. Certainly, the trip of being Fab was hard and complicated, emotionally trying and scarring, and certainly it is good to get the whole story, but sometimes, as I said earlier about Pepper, the amount of negativity coming from Lennon and Harrison deflates and diminishes a body of work that should be celebrated and beloved. I know some readers might lecture me on how they liked this “honesty” being a part of the Anthology (as I do and said… but only to a point), but I’m not sure that resentment, anger and bitterness are always genuine honesty. Sometimes I think real honesty comes from learning to let go, forgive, and smile about things that deserve to be smiled about… and great works of art deserve to be smiled about. Hm… maybe I can put that to work in my own life, we’ll see… but until then…

Lennon and Harrison be darned… long live Sgt. Pepper!

May12

CMC Gig Post Mortem

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942856_10200302855227439_1732236576_nI dedicated this set to Joe Thomas.

Well, last time I had a gig here in Gainesville I wrote a post mortem, and it was rather negative. That time it was a solo gig, this time I shared the evening with Kathleen Taylor (lovely, sweet, nimble-fingered and generous) and Cracker the Box (intense, groovy, bluesy, first-rate and dark), but I will let them assess their own performances. As for mine, well, I am still struggling with my voice… I don’t yet seem to have found it. Due to a number of–uhm…er…uh… changes–my voice has become a source of major complication and profound insecurity.

But, apart from that, it may have, surprisingly, been the most at ease and competent I have ever felt on stage anywhere at any time. Why? I don’t know. The crowd was surprisingly large and the room pleasantly packed. The other acts were known in town and beloved, my soundcheck was a nightmare of insecurities and sad shrill mumblings… but somehow, by Saraswati’s grace, once I sat down and looked out at everyone, I just felt “ON.” I decided on-the-spot to forget about my insecurities about my voice and just give ‘em the best I was able to do at the time, and to lean into THAT; lean into all I had. I decided not to question myself or freak out, just to freaking sing! So sing I did.

And far more amazing, something else happened that was quite a shock, all the little bluesy bass notes I popped with my thumb, all the little variations and riffs were there, RIGHT THERE where I needed them to be. I had NO fumbling or loss of dexterity. Dear God, for the first time ever on stage… my fingers actually worked. For me the highlights of the evening were the electric numbers: McCartney’s “Letting Go,” and my original “Chokin’ ’99.” I felt good, felt on, felt as though people were in for a surprise as I was the unknown, the opening act, “she who had to prover herself.” As for the audience, they were very responsive, attentive, and appreciative… very appreciative.

And apart from half a can of PBR I was sober.

It was a good night.

May11

Gig Tonight

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Well, it’s here, gig night. I used to get so nervous on stage that I could hardly function at all, so I drank whiskey. But then again I drank whiskey in my coffee in the morning before going in to teach, drank whiskey when I practiced, and carried some around in a flask just in case I needed more. It worked, it helped, took the edge off enough that I could play. All that drinking and stagefright eventually forced me to stop performing at all.

Nowadays I don’t drink like that. And I don’t really feel as nervous, I get nervous, a little sloppy, but I still play better in public than I used to. And nowadays I have Saraswati to guide me, and I realize, thanks to my spiritual life, that being an artist, musician and teacher is my duty (in the largest sense) and so being nervous and failing to do my duty is something of a sin.

So, here it is, gig night, and I am ready to do my duty.

May1

SAW Year One Lives On!

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It was amazing. The year is over but we ALL (all the students and Tom and I) got together tonight at Satchel’s Pizza to celebrate Adrian’s comic that he did for Satchel (and he actually made money!) then went back to SAW to watch a Spike Jones documentary. God was it a lovely evening. I think the warmth is so evident in this photo. Too bad you couldn’t see Sally or Anna (my two favorites, I don’t know if I’ve said this before, but their work stands head and shoulders above the rest-wink-). And to top it off, the photo doesn’t make me want to cry, I actually think I look rather pretty. And to the barefoot fans who read in, of course I was barefoot!Barefoot Justine Mara Andersen and students from SAW enjoying Satchel's Pizza

Apr28

SAWtificates & Graduation Party

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What to say? Other than life is grand and I now know what it feels like to finally have everything you ever wanted, I haven’t much more to say. So, what is it like having everything you always wanted? It’s too foreign an experience to quantify… I feel like at any moment now this will end like a vacation and I’ll have to go “home” to whatever ghetto I belong in. Below you will see a photo of the SAW gang on the back porch of the house I live in: from left to right: Sally, Me (in back), Anna (on ground), co-founder Leela Corman, Adrian, Our fearless leader Tom Hart, and Eric, (student Mike not pictured):
399872_10200920577280937_1520254666_n(By the way, contrary to how this looks, we were all happy, but this picture was taken while we were Skyping with a graduation keynote speaker so the moment was more ceremonial and educational than celebratory.)

Beautiful place, beautiful people. We held our graduation party out here yesterday, and it was lovely and made even more lovely by the fact that it was not an end. I’m here for good, Tom and Leela of course live here, Anna lives here, and now Eric and Sally are here to stay in Gainesville, too. Soon, thanks to SAW, Gainesville will be the city comic book artists from all over will call home, where they will settle down and be happy. I’m proud of my students and have given them endless credit for their growth and dedication, but last night, for the first time, I realized that we teachers had a big hand in that, too. Their growth belongs to all of us, we did this together, and does it ever feel good to be in the business of changing lives. What a day, sun, amazing food, and perhaps the most relaxed and tension-free gathering I’ve ever been to. There was magic at SAW this year, an auspicious gathering of talents and warm-heartedness that rarely comes along. Funny, but usually the day after an event like that I feel drained and sort of saddened that it’s over, but today I’m all smiles and joy. You know something was good when you still feel good the day after the BIG DAY.

Here are a couple other pics from our day, one of Lake Newnan (which is what I’m staring off at in the pic above), and the alligator that lives in our pond.
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Apr24

Glories from THE Frank Thorne

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Found this on the SAW web-site today regarding my career as an artist and teacher… from the one and only Frank Thorne:

“…don’t know much about “art,’ even though I’ve been drawing and writing for over 60 years. I always held the belief that “art” cannot be taught. But, looking over the SAW website, methinks that yours is the correct approach. Witness Justine, the very embodiment of the artist’s profile. I’ve known her for many years, and have been a fan from the very beginning. She is extremely gifted, and will be on hand to help your students open the doors of perception.

Give her a hug for me.”

F.Thorne

Once again, Frank descends from the heavens (or some other slightly less well-lit and sulfuric place) to heap praise and glories upon little old me! Thank you Frank, and I love you!

Apr18

More On Jonathing Winters Post (see below)

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Just wanted to make clear that this post is in no way a scold aimed at my students… they’re an admirably open-minded group (far more so than I, and great to teach), and I’m not even 100% sure I took their comments in context (though I think I did), regardless, that’s not the point. The point is I had this string of thoughts about this topic of over-sensitivity that is causing a lot of self-censorship and strangling the life out of many of the arts, and it’s a subject I’ve wanted to address for a long time. I just don’t want anyone misinterpreting my intent.

Apr17

Why Jonathan Winters Is Not Even Vaguely Racist

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TheWonderfulWorldOfJonathanWinters-AlbumCover I was mildly disheartened by the experience of introducing Jonathan Winters to my students today, but only mildly, and certainly not disparagingly. They’re all great students and amazing people… but they demonstrate some of the inappropriate sensitivity that has been innocently driven into our culture and their generation in particular. It’s something I understand, often agree with, but as is the case with any movement or successful amount of social progress, there is often a reactionary element that obscures the deeper truths and comes across as excessive. One thing I have a huge beef with is that cartoon images of races that are not “white” are automatically dismissed as “racist.” Yep, some are, but most are not. Cartoonists exaggerate. Winters was a cartoonist, but rather than draw, he performed.

Again, cartoonists exaggerate, that’s what they do, in fact, it’s about all they have. Take away a cartoonist’s right to exaggerate and they’ve nothing left but soft doughy drawings of soft doughy white guys (never women, as those cartoons are now “sexist”). If an art form (cartooning) is the art of exaggeration, then by today’s standards, cartooning is dead. Certainly cartoonists (humorists) have in the past poked fun at racial, cultural, and gender stereotypes… but does that make them racist or mean-spirited? No, many people I know from all walks of life, genders, and races certainly act in stereotypical ways, and we seem to have reached a point of over-sensitivity in which playing with these stereotypes is no longer allowed. Of course I also recognize from painful personal experience that cartoons, songs, and routines of that nature can hurt, so there is a paradox and conflict even in myself about all this. But let’s just stick with my point rather than delving into the inner conflict any sensitive or intelligent person must recognize when talking about this stuff. One of the best points I can make in regard to my original argument has to do with Speedy Gonzalez, from Warner Brothers cartoon fame. At some point people (probably over-sensitive white folks) decided that Speedy Gonzalez cartoons were racist, so they were essentially pulled or banned. Here’s the catch, no one thought to ask the Mexicans. They LOVED Speedy and wondered why their favorite character was no longer on TV. Similarly when I watch Rochester on the Jack Benny show I understand why some people might find it offensive, but I think that shows a certain knee-jerkiness and ignorance. Look closer: Jack worked with a “black” actor for years, loyally, and though Rochester was in the servile role officially, he gave Rochester the best lines, always had him come out on top (even on top of the star… Jack Benny himself), and was portrayed as not only intelligent, but popular and extremely quick-witted. To me, the issue is not so clear as many might believe, and if anything shows that Jack Benny was a very forward thinking man, especially for the time. Indeed, even the “offensive” Amos and Andy, if you watch it, portrays those characters in what to my eyes is a far less degrading way than Def Comedy Jam. I simply think these issues are more complicated than they seem.

Similarly with Jonathan Winters. Though my students were hip enough to laugh, to get it, I heard the words “creepy” and heard him described as “vaguely racist.” And while I admire the sensitivity, it comes from a point of view that is distinctly modern. Keep in mind, like any cartoonist, Jonathan Winters exaggerated, and he did so inclusively in an egalitarian way. All of his characters, be they black, white, women, Chinese, children, or Ohio hicks, were treated with the same amount (or lack of) dignity. There was no cynicism, no hate, not even any ignorance. He painted them all with the same beautifully broad brushstrokes as would have any cartoonist or comedian. He played with stereotypes and broadly humorous affectations. No one was singled out as being more or less human. In his eyes, anyone was potential material for comedy… not just any race, but any species–he did great dogs and cats, too. Sad to think that were he still out there working he would ONLY be allowed to perform as white male characters, no women, no blacks, no Chinese, nothing. Nowadays he would have to censor himself to the point of being stale and stagnant, stiff and inoffensive. Boring.

Let’s keep in mind, also, that when Jonathan Winters appeared on the Rosey Grier show his portrayal of a black man on that show was brave, bold, and politically significant not only to both men, but to the country. This was black and white meeting, laughing together on national television that went into the homes of people of all races. This was not racist, this was a victory of the melting pot and a much needed release of pressure during racially tense times. This was not primitive or racist, this was groundbreaking. And as you watch it you can see Mr. Grier laughing as he recognized Mr. Winters playing up stereotypical behaviors and attitudes he was no doubt familiar with the very same way I laugh out loud when he plays up stereotypical behaviors and attitudes of the Ohio hicks and hillbillies I knew, loved, and grew up with. Are we to believe now that Jonathan Winters should have ONLY played up the silliness and stereotypes present in white America? How boring, how deeply racist, and what a shame to rob him of such a wealth of material.

Besides all this there is a personality trait, or aesthetic, that many of us have (and I am assuming that Jonathan Winters was “one of us”) in that many of us love characters. We love people with character, people who are characters, characters, and people with great characteristic features. This is lost in the modern aesthetic. Character actors are all but gone, eccentricity is no longer celebrated in the same way. Watching older films we (those of us who are part of The Cult Of Character) enjoy that there are so many great faces with so many distinctive traits, not like in modern films where a certain even tone seems to dominate the appearance of most actors. We love people who are different, eccentric, and want to celebrate, imitate, and enjoy such natural individuality. We miss Paul Lynde, Fred Gwynne, Ernie Anderson, Minnie Pearl, and other people/actors whose schtick involved characters with distinctive and excessive personality traits. Guys like Jonathan Winters celebrated that world of human experience. And he didn’t just celebrate famous characters, but the characters that populated his daily life, and he did so with joyous affection.

I say there was nothing racist about his routines, nothing even remotely offensive, or creepy, no, with Jonathan there was nothing but good-hearted pure egalitarian joy! And as for me, I’d love to see a lot more of that on TV nowadays.