I was reminded today, by the partner of one of my students, that I have a blog, and that perhaps someone is reading it, and that I have been neglecting it. So I write. Sometimes I do not know what to say… actually, that is not true in the sense that I have nothing to say, oh, no, I have lots to say. What I struggle with is “WHAT” to say… or more to the point, what not to say. What is appropriate? Students read this thing. How much do I want them to know? How personal or emotional do I want to get? How do the things I blog about affect my credibility in the eyes of students and colleagues?
Of course I have no idea how to answer these questions. I know what I worry about is very much in conflict what what I personally want. What I want is to simply tell the truth… or at least the truth as I see, understand or feel it at the moment.
So, how about some news? I am moving, to Gainesville at last. The physicality of that is finally happening. I have a place and I have stuff in it… and at the moment I have sinuses full of the dust and cobwebs I cleaned out of that place. Emotionally, as is almost always the case, I am conflicted… terrified that I can’t afford the rent (absurdly low as it is) and terribly excited about the place. Ultimately I have no choice but to make it work. After all, if I can’t make it work, where am I going to go? I have nowhere to turn. No family to fall back on, no friends with money… it’s all me, me and several hundred bucks. It’s a bitch.
But it’s good. I am happy here, and I have hope that I have finally found my path.