On the Dove Cult Leaving

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Regarding the Dove Cult leaving Gainesville, Lord Jesus issued this statement from his office:

92689564_330486706_4e67fa7fc3_xlarge“The office of Lord Jesus Christ would like to make the following statement (and it’s the gospel truth): While Lord Jesus is pleased that the people of Gainesville will be getting a much deserved break from the ugliness belching forth form ‘Pastor’ Terry Jones, Jesus wept (not grown-up Jesus, but little Baby Jesus) to realize that now a whole other city and population will be subjected to the Dove Church lunacy. The very unfortunate consequence of this move of course being that another community will actually be left confused and believing that these ‘losers and loonies’ (Christ’s exact words, italic emphasis his) are actually representing him. Lord Jesus would like the city of Gainesville and any city inflicted with the unholy hate-filled invasion of the Dove church to understand that Mr. Jones and the Dove Church in no way represent or are affiliated with Lord Jesus, his disciples, offices, or words (you know… the red ones).”

As a side note, I would like to add that the official letterhead from the office of Lord Jesus was substandard, and the office of Lord Jesus might consider using a designer who has some knowledge of design, the workings of Photoshop, and fonts (re: Comic Sans is no longer acceptable). If you don’t mind my saying, perhaps, with all due respect to our Lord and Savior, the unpaid interns in your office do not make the best designers.

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