I despise Obama and Obamacare, and NOT for the right-wing reasons, the fictional paranoid nonsense, not for the threat of (GASP) “Socialism,” but for very real reasons. Obamacare is a failure.

I had universal healthcare in South Korea, and it was a blessing. It was efficient and effective. It was none of the things Obamacare is, and it was none of the things the right would like to convince us of. Universal healthcare is the ONLY option. Anything else is bullshit. Please, keep in mind that I know this from having had to battle cancer in three different countries under three different healthcare systems. I am here to tell you, every single word that comes from the right about this is nothing but lies and propaganda. Don’t you dare argue it with me, I lived through it. None of the things I can tell you about universal healthcare comes second hand from Bill O’Reilly or whoever, it comes from having had cancer in a country with universal healthcare. When I got cancer, I was so glad I had it treated in South Korea rather than here. How foul is that? Think about that, I was pleased to go through cancer treatment in Korea rather than here in the States. Add to this, I was terrified of coming home with a pre-existing condition! Terrified to come home! How wrong is that?

While the idea of Obamacare was to provide care for everyone, the system was designed poorly, or simply designed to fail. Oh, we can conveniently blame the Republicans for this mess, but Obama’s failure as a leader and man of conviction are every bit as much to blame. Many of us (myself definitely) have been left utterly out in the cold by the weaknesses in the plan. Again, we can blame Rick Scott in Florida, we can blame someone else in Florida, but the root of the problem goes straight to Obama and the worthless Democrats. They backed down, took out the universal healthcare plan we so desperately needed out, leaving in place a sickly half-ass piece of legislation that left plenty of room for the tea-bagger assholes and Republicans to piss all over it and us.

Simply put, I am too poor for Obamacare. Yep, too poor. Being poor, I guess means I am not worth covering, and seemingly I am not worthy of keeping alive or healthy.

Several months ago I at the very least had the Alachua County “Choices” program. I at least had my basic doctor visits, lab work and prescriptions covered. Now I have nothing. I am poor, but I have to pay whatever cost my doctor wants to charge for office visits. My prescriptions have practically tripled in price!

This has wreaked havoc with my budget, with any effort to get ahead and set money aside. This has wreaked havoc on my nervous system. I now have to decide whether or not to go to the doctor. I have had to decide which of my prescriptions to take or not to take based upon what I can afford. I have had to pass on sorely needed care. I have had to make potentially dangerous decisions because I have lost the healthcare plan I liked and had, and am not eligible for Obamacare.

I feel angry, frustrated and confused. I don’t know what to do. I can’t make decisions. I feel helpless and baffled. My every back and forth with my doctor lately has been strained by this situation. I want to keep my doctor, but I cannot afford him. I am scared to death, and who makes sense or good decisions when scared to death? Who communicates well when scared to death?

That’s the real rub, here, I don’t know what to do. I can’t function. I don’t know where to turn for care, for help with my prescriptions. I have had to give up on a healthier method of getting the drugs I need in favor of the cheaper options. I have had to put my life at risk due to the failure of Obama and the Democrats, due to their cowardice and inability to lead, and due to the vicious and vindictive Republicans who (with smiles on their faces) exploit the weaknesses Obama and the Democrats left in their half-ass plan.

And all the politics aside, I just don’t fucking care about any of them, about either side. I simply want to live and be healthy. I simply want to go to the doctor when I need to and not when I can afford it. I want to take the drugs I need without having to weigh how important they really are. I want to move along to safer drugs than the ones I am on, but I cannot. I take the pills I can because they cost me about $60 a month, the alternative to those pills costs $155 per month! I cannot afford to make the safer healthier decision. I must continue to live knowing that I am at 24% chance risk of bloodclot, stroke and cancer, as well as at high risk of liver and kidney failure simply because I cannot afford $155 per month for the safer delivery methods of my much needed prescriptions. This situation is far more dire than people realize.

My life is in jeopardy.

Thank you on both sides, thank you very much.

Now what? I sure as hell don’t know. I mean, I really don’t know what to do or where to turn.

ADDENDUM: Today I went to my doctor for my first uninsured visit. He has known about my loss of coverage and the fact that Obamacare is worthless and leaves many of us out in the cold. The first thing my doctor did upon walking into the room was assure me that his office would continue to provide care for me, that he would work with me, and that I never need to forego care over financial concerns. Today, as I am working, my copay was $40, but he said not to worry about it when I am not making any money (which is often the case with freelancers). While this is lovely and I am quite blessed to be in the hands of such a good doctor and good man, this is an obscenity nonetheless. It seems terribly unjust that my doctor should have to suffer for the failings of Obamacare just as much as it is terribly unjust that I should suffer for the failings of Obamacare. The burden has, simply put, as usual, been placed on the wrong shoulders. It is inspiring, I must add, to know that there are people and doctors out there who will work together to help those whom Obamacare wholly and utterly fails. This, however, is not the way things should be, not at all, not at ll.