Top Ten Things I Regret About Leaving Akron Ohio

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10) That I hadn’t left sooner

9) Having to now live in the knowledge that I had spent most of my life cold, wet and miserable

8) Both days of sunshine

7) Scenic drives through Barberton (aka “the magic city”)

6) That it’s still there

5) The free “craters-on-the-moon” thrill-ride experience of driving Akron roads

4) Easier access to cheap illegal drugs

3) The comfort of knowing that everyone was doing worse than me

2) The round-the-clock big bass sound of car stereos rattling rear panels

1) Nothing

One response »

  1. I hit on this fast as I could. I knew you would be up to something funny but true. And it wasn’t a novella, Next, name your top 10 Rolling Stone articles, then the greatest J Geils Band and Super Tramp songs.

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